Texas is ugly Monday, December 10, 2007 |
So here we go...sorry to all of you Texas readers, but I've got some stuff on my chest I need to share. First and foremost, Texas is ugly. Specifically the roadsides of Texas are ugly. For those of you familiar with Texas, you may not recognize it, but there is an EPIDEMIC in Texas, and it has spread to every access road and by-way. It's called CHEAP METAL BUILDINGS FALLING DOWN AND SELLING CRAP EVERYWHEREITIS, and it's a powerful, deadly disease. I just spent the better part of 16 (yea, 16) hours over THREE days driving around the Lonestar state, so I had plenty of time to consider the Texas countryside. And what a countryside it is...for those who aren't familiar, a primer:
In Texas, many years ago, someone obviously decreed the following statement:Hear ye hear ye, all those with no sense of style or architectural leanings, I hearby decree that in Texas we shall have no building code, no sense of what might look nice or not look nice along the sides of our roads. We shall encourage the senseless sprawl that shall waste space with concrete statues and Jim's Industrial Supplies. Of course you can take over that building along I-10 and make it a Tattoo Parlor. It's Texas!
Now if you haven't had the pleasure of visiting Texas and spending an ungodly amount of time driving along the interstate, you might think I'm exaggerating. You might think "Well, maybe the highways are bad, but I'm sure the countryside is beautiful." You would be DEAD WRONG. Apparently having a real job in Texas is not a viable option for 67% of the population (not statistically verified) if the road side stands are any indication. Got Junk? Set it out by the road. Apparently you'll make a killing, if the amount of junk being sold along the road is any indication.
I have proof of all this nonsense, but it's on my wife's computer. I will post it soon. Texas friends, you can't deny this. It doesn't mean you're bad...just that your roadways are ugly. God Bless Texas.
Labels: junk, Texas roads, ugly
I'm a "regular" guy, if you know what I mean. It's something I'm quite proud of. In fact, I'm at least three times a day, pretty much after every meal kind of regular. One of the ways I've developed this by giving myself "incentives" for said regularity. At home its SI. At work it's a little game I like to to call Bubble Breaker. For those of you who aren't familiar with Bubble Breaker, it's a game of strategy and skill in which you must click on bubbles of the same color, and create strings of bubbles to achieve the highest score. It's a hard game. My previous high score was 306 (very respectable within this community). On Thursday I had Dewey's Pizza, which prompted some regularity immediately following. I normally get two or three rounds in a session. This session was going fairly well, when suddenly I realized I had a serious round going on. Bubbles were bursting everywhere, in 30 and 40 point pops. My heart started to race. Could this be it? I kept focused, ignoring the fact that my legs were going to sleep. 250, 280, 290...suddenly I blew past 300 like it was standing still. Ladies and gentleman, my new high score on Bubble Breaker is 354! Unbelievable! I have yet to talk to anyone who has achieved such a feat. I stood in triumph, my legs tingling with the sweet tingle of no blood reaching them for the last 15 minutes. I left the stall exhilarated, immediately looking for someone to share the experience with. I couldn't really find anyone, so I bring it to you, humble reader. I will keep you posted on any new high scores in the future.
What can you learn from all this? Two things...1. I am better than you at Bubble Breaker. 2. I highly encourage you to incentivise yourself towards regularity. Your doctor would be proud (just watch out for hemorrhoids).Labels: Bubble Breaker, regularity
