I have Olympic Spirit Thursday, August 21, 2008 |
So here's the deal. I have the Olympic spirit. Bad. Like as bad as Riley's feet smell bad. I've killed houndreds of hours watching other people being athletic. I'm sure I've gained weight, but I FEEL like I'm a world class athlete. But recently, as my back has hurt and my insides have felt tired, I've been forced to consider this Olympic spirit burning inside of me. And I've realized something...I actually, I have the spirit of billions of dollars of advertising budgets coursing through my veins. But that's secondary. And in the course of this Olympic games, there has been one advertisement that has filled me up more than all the rest. It's IMPOSSIBLE for me not to tear up at this ad. IMPOSSIBLE. Why? Is it because I always want to finish? Is it because I love my Dad? Is it because I love Morgan Freeman? I don't know...I may never know. But this is true...if you don't tear up at this, you have no soul. None.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Labels: Derek Redmond, Olympics
Fair and Balanced (and frustrated) Friday, August 8, 2008 |
I'm in Texas right now, the land of big (fake blond) hair, great tex-mex, and Bush (hey, two outta three ain't bad). Had some time to do some light reading, catching up on stuff I don't normally take the time to do...ya know, fiction, NYT, and some blogs. I've heard mention recently of this McCain plan to be "funny," and while I didn't understand it fully, I've started to get a sense of what he (read: political advisors who live in a Washingtonian vacuum) has been doing. It's not as bad as you might imagine...it's actually MUCH worse.
Be sure to insert fart noises as you watch the clip below.
First of all, I have seen more natural, less coerced looking televised performances from Al Qaeda hostages. Maybe this was deliberate, and McCain is trying to signal his superior officers to let them know he's being held captive by a laughing gas sniffing publicist, but I can't say for sure, since my skills as a voice and body language interpreter are about as official as the presidential seal on the podium in this video. (Chances that one hour before this was taped a production assistant was ordered to "Find a can of brown paint to cover up the "Tic-Tac-Dough" logo on that podium or I'll have you late-term aborted!"? Exactly one million to yes.)
Second, did Cana (my 3 month old) do the consulting for the sound effects? Or did someone at LCS (that's industry lingo for Last Comic Standing) painstakingly and judiciously decide "old fashioned jalopy horn = Reagan" and "boner popping = Bush?" (Just for fun, I do kind of find myself hoping a producer was standing over a sound technician, saying, "wait, wait...try 'Slide Whistle Down'. Hmm...maybe that's too poignant. Lemme hear 'Pig Farts Inside Log'. Great, put that in the 'maybe' folder.") But I also hope that the same producer heard the sound of his own voice during these proceedings and, in a moment of clarity, without saying another word to anyone, placed his clipboard on a console, exited the studio, drove to the airport, and booked a direct flight to Darfur to perform volunteer relief work for the next five years (that seems like an appropriate pittance given the obvious sin).
How bout that ending? Sure was a gee whizzer! McCain, when you wondered out loud who called you "funny looking" (punchy!), had you considered it might have been the DJ, since the barb was immediately preceded by the sound of a needle scratching across a record? Elementary, sir, elementary.
In the interest of being Fair and Balanced (Fox News Copyright 2008), I should also point out that Senator Obama made a similarly grim appeal on Last Comic Standing this week.
I'll leave you with this...Paris Hilton's response to the hard hitting, issues based McCain ad comparing Obama with Britney and Paris. Is it weird of me to respect Paris more and McCain less after this round of ads? Not sure. You be the judge.
Be sure to insert fart noises as you watch the clip below.
First of all, I have seen more natural, less coerced looking televised performances from Al Qaeda hostages. Maybe this was deliberate, and McCain is trying to signal his superior officers to let them know he's being held captive by a laughing gas sniffing publicist, but I can't say for sure, since my skills as a voice and body language interpreter are about as official as the presidential seal on the podium in this video. (Chances that one hour before this was taped a production assistant was ordered to "Find a can of brown paint to cover up the "Tic-Tac-Dough" logo on that podium or I'll have you late-term aborted!"? Exactly one million to yes.)
Second, did Cana (my 3 month old) do the consulting for the sound effects? Or did someone at LCS (that's industry lingo for Last Comic Standing) painstakingly and judiciously decide "old fashioned jalopy horn = Reagan" and "boner popping = Bush?" (Just for fun, I do kind of find myself hoping a producer was standing over a sound technician, saying, "wait, wait...try 'Slide Whistle Down'. Hmm...maybe that's too poignant. Lemme hear 'Pig Farts Inside Log'. Great, put that in the 'maybe' folder.") But I also hope that the same producer heard the sound of his own voice during these proceedings and, in a moment of clarity, without saying another word to anyone, placed his clipboard on a console, exited the studio, drove to the airport, and booked a direct flight to Darfur to perform volunteer relief work for the next five years (that seems like an appropriate pittance given the obvious sin).
How bout that ending? Sure was a gee whizzer! McCain, when you wondered out loud who called you "funny looking" (punchy!), had you considered it might have been the DJ, since the barb was immediately preceded by the sound of a needle scratching across a record? Elementary, sir, elementary.
In the interest of being Fair and Balanced (Fox News Copyright 2008), I should also point out that Senator Obama made a similarly grim appeal on Last Comic Standing this week.
I'll leave you with this...Paris Hilton's response to the hard hitting, issues based McCain ad comparing Obama with Britney and Paris. Is it weird of me to respect Paris more and McCain less after this round of ads? Not sure. You be the judge.
See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die
Labels: McCain "funny" campaign