Confession time
Not proud of this...and a twinge confused by my reaction. Last night we were at a Super Bowl party at a friend's house with an assortment of people. I knew everyone there, but to varying degrees. Early in the night the talk of the party was the CR Super Bowl service. People were sharing how much Brad's story had meant to them, parents who had come into town and were blown away by the service, where to find Girlymannomore, etc. I was generally quiet, enjoying the overall vibe and listening to other's stories. Eventually I was sitting on a couch listening to my friend B talking with a friend of his about the service. I don't know the other guy well, but what I do know is he's a nice guy, upstanding citizen, always treated me fine, etc. Ok, the stage is set now. Anyway, I know he goes to another church here in town and is not a fan of CR (totally fine I thought). Suddenly I hear him (he went to the service) saying "How much money did they spend on that? What a waste." B replies "Ask Andrew, he'd probably know." I immediately reply (without being asked) with the wittiest, most bitingly sarcastic comment I could (something along the lines of "If you're going to talk shit about how the church chooses to spend it's money I'm not interested in answering your questions..." Now, for those that know me, I was able to say this in a somewhat coy, smiling, mischievous way that conveyed something less than the instant anger I felt towards this guy. Are you kidding me! Why the hell did I have that reaction? Not exactly very loving. In fact, B started laughing and said to his buddy "Be careful dude, you're treading on thin ice." Why? Am I really that ignorant? This guy loves Jesus, is a part of the buddy, and for whatever reason disagrees with how CR does a Super Bowl service. Big deal. So why did I rile up like a cornered dog and respond with venom? I'm embarrassed. Do I get this guys number? Do I apologize? I ended up talking with him for a while about it, and it was a fine conversation. Still, it really bothers me I reacted so defensively. I've got a long way to go...
Labels: confession, Love
February 5, 2007 at 7:22 PM
so you're going to call and apologize, right? top
February 5, 2007 at 8:22 PM
Yea...That's what I'm thinking...should go something like "I'm sorry I was such a dumbass. Please don't make a judgement call about Christ based on me." Sound appropriate? top
February 7, 2007 at 10:44 AM
So do you know what's underneath the defensiveness? It's a question I've been asking the Lord and myself lately and often I don't like what I find. top
February 12, 2007 at 6:25 PM
What's under the defensiveness, if you ask me, is an unholy connection to an organization. If you get offended and someone criticizing your religious organization of choice, you just plain love it too much. That's how I see it.
So go ahead and call the guy, Andrew. You're going to call, right? top