Wow. Really weird experience just happened. Ok, back up. I need to explain something. I hate MySpace. I think it's the most awful, weird, twisted commentary on how desperately we (collective we in the eternal sense) are aching for some kind of community and fellowship, no matter how shallow, selfish or sexual it is. That said, I have a MySpace page (J actually made it for me) so our Jr. High kids could message us, we could interact with them, etc. Anyway, I've maybe signed on 10 times. I always have that annoying moment of "Shit, what is my password" everytime I remember to check it. I digress. So I got a "friend" invitation tonight in email from a good friend of mine from high school (not the marine corp, see here for that story) who also used to live in Cincy (she was also my g-friend in third grade, till she broke up with me for Shane Dorsey.) So I logged on (after two failed attempts) and that's when the madness started. On her page I noticed a picture of a girl I went to high school with, but I hadn't seen since 1999 (when I graduated). Surprised, I clicked on her profile, and was blown away. All the sudden half of my high school friends were smiling at me (in those weird MySpace poses), people my world used to REVOLVE around (Would _ invite me over to his house after the game?) Suddenly I'm checking in on all these people, catching up on their lives, their loves, their pets, their careers. The whole time my mind just raced with a thousand memories of desperately caring what these people think of me, of nights sitting on the couch alone while literally EVERY couple around me was making out, and wondering if I'd ever be that cool. I saw a guy who used to rap in his living room, telling us he'd be big in the music industry (he now is a music director for Clear Channel and has an evening radio show on some national radio network. That's awesome!). A friend who didn't necessarily see herself as the brightest, but who is now teaching kids at the elementary school I used to attend. A clean cut guy who is now a self-proclaimed "high hippie" living communally with some people in Nashville. The country farm kid who now lives in the big city with (seemingly) a sweet job making (seemingly) big money. I would spend nights crying over these people. Did they like me? Was I cool enough? Was I ever going to date her? How much energy did I spent on these individuals? How much energy did they spend thinking the same things? Tonight gave me a shot of instant perspective on what our jr/sr kids battle everyday. And it's impossible to convince them that, truth be told, they will RARELY/NEVER see or think of those that rule their lives once they leave the confines of high school. Not that the scars won't be there. Mine certainly still are. But the memories seem to fade (somewhat). Till tonight on MySpace, when they all came back. Dam you MySpace.

Labels: high school, MySpace